Melissa (walkin_by_faith) wrote,
Melissa
walkin_by_faith

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For the first time in a long time...

...I wished I could die tonight.

Now, don't freak out.

It's not in a suicidal way or anything like that.

I just want God to take me home.

As I looked into the heavens, I have to say it wasn't with a caring and loving glance.

My thoughts, more like shouts bounced off of the clouds.

How could He let this happen?

Why do little girls have to die of cancer?

How come some friendships end up being one-sided?

Why did I fail so badly?

Why do I feel like I am alone?

How come things have to change?

I was so prepared to just live my life...content in where I was...in what I was going to be doing...

Now, I have no clue. I have no motivation. I have no will...no desire...nothing. Zip. zero. nada.

It's almost like I'm walking around in a bubble. The world in chaos around me.

I know God has  a plan. He's got something great. I know I need to trust Him. I know I need to follow Him.

But, my flesh struggles against it.

If I could run away, I would. If I could leave this all behind...I would. In a heart beat.

Don't worry, I'm really okay. this is just alot of pent up emotions that needed to be let out.

...I feel a little better....

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